Marriage and Mix Tapes

I was thinking yesterday about how easily relationship woes were solved in high school. A good mix tape could explain away a bad day, calm the jealousy caused by flirting with that boy while cruising the Boulevard with your friends, describe how painful that mean remark was, apologize for making a meaner remark in return.

A good mix tape could say the things you couldn't put into words yourself. And they didn't always have to be right-on-the-money. For example, in 9th grade, Brent L. made me a mix tape with explanations. Beside "Sister Golden Hair" he wrote: (If you had blonde hair). Granted, some of his songs made no sense for a "This will show you how much I love you" mix tape. I mean, "A Horse With No Name?" What the hell?!

A good mix tape always seemed so heart-felt. I broke up with Joe C. my senior year in high school and when I got in my car that afternoon, what was under my windshield wiper? Why, a mix tape, of course! How else was the guy supposed to let me know how badly it hurt to have his heart ripped out, while also trying to convince me to take him back?

But with age- and marriage- comes fewer props for effective communication. It seems issues that come up in a marriage become too gigantic- or maybe petty- to be fixed with a mix tape. What song would I use to say "Please don't buy that Harley Davidson because I'm afraid we can't afford it?"

Or, after the Harley has been purchased: "How much GD chrome do you have to put on that thing before you're done?!"

If The Bangles ever wrote anything to address why you shouldn't leave the water running while you're brushing your teeth because it's wasteful, I'd love to hear it.

Does Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam have a song to say "Just because koozies and stickers are free at trade shows, doesn't mean you have to grab three at each booth?"

Marriage would be so much simpler if I had a soundtrack playing in the background.