More SEO and Other Copywriting Job Opportunities

Here's just a couple of writing employment opportunities I happened across today. I started this post because I thought I'd find more, but alas, this is all I found that I deemed worthy of mention. Happy New Year!

SEO Copywriter- Massachusetts
Executive Editor- Santa Monica

College Journalism Internships Galore!

If you are a college journalism or public relations student, I hope you already check www.journalismjobs.com occasionally, just to see what's out there.

But if you don't, here are more than 100 reasons to begin doing so: Internships.

There are numerous great opportunities listed at this link that include internships in reporting, blogging, editing, publishing, broadcast journalism, marketing and public relations.

Go check it out and if you land one of these awesome internships, comment and let me know. Good luck!

When Blow-up Lawn Ornaments Get Out of Hand...

These decorations are just wrong on so many levels. Please forgive that I'm a mile away taking the photo. I have a kind of cheapy camera and I had to be sure I could get every blow-up decoration in the frame. You can click on the photo to see it larger.

For all you Lakelanders: care to take a guess as to where this home is? It's an easy one...

Great Job Opportunities

Merry (day after) Christmas! I was cruising around the 'net this morning and found what appeared to be some interesting and promising job opportunities. Feel free to check them out:

Web Copywriter- St. Petersburg, FL
FREELANCE WRITERS TO COVER NEWS, SPORTS, BUSINESS AND DINING- Tampa
Copywriter - Marketing Position - 20 hours / Week- Wesley Chapel, FL
Freelance education reporter- Seminole County, FL
Full-time Copywriter
Copywriter needed to join growing team- Jacksonville

Let 'Em Do What They Do, Baby

This may sound strange, but when I returned home to Florida in 1999, one of the things I looked most forward to was shopping at Publix again.

In Maryland where I had lived for about three years, the grocery stores were weird, in my book. My most annoying peeve was that you couldn't take your grocery buggy to your car. All the stores had concrete poles that kept the buggies corralled just outside the doorways. So I would buy groceries, push the buggy outside and have to leave the groceries unattended, then go get my truck and pull up front where I would load my groceries and be on my way.

Then there's Publix. Friendly bagboys- and today, baggirls young and old- bag your groceries for you and take them out to your car, where they load them and then return your buggy.

For some odd reason, I see fewer and fewer people taking advantage of the baggers. People just want to take their groceries out themselves, it seems. That's fine with me, but what really gets my goat is the fact that they take their groceries out themselves and then leave the buggy in the parking lot, pounced and ready to roll into someone's car.

So this is my plea to all grocery shoppers: let the baggers do what they are paid to do!!! Let them take your groceries to your car. Then they will return the buggy to its proper place, and they will pick up all the stray buggies left by those other a-holes while they're at it.

I actually DIDN'T let a bagger help me to my car yesterday, but I had what I thought was a good reason. My bagger was an elderly lady to walked as though she had a bad knee or hip. I just felt guilty making Grandma walk me to my car. But I've had a change of heart since then. She obviously is able to perform the normal duties, so next time I'm going to swallow my pride and let her do her job.

The Egg Factory is Back in Production

After an annoyingly long hiatus, Big Bertha- our chicken who has survived one raccoon and two opossum attacks- is back in business. We had given up on her and quit checking for eggs some time ago.

She disappeared from her pen yesterday and when I went in there to look over the fence, I noticed eight eggs in her nest. I'm not brave enough to have kept all of them. Instead, I picked out the two with the least amount of poop streaks (there I go again with writing about poop!) on them and put the rest in the compost bin.

I think that banty rooster from next door must've made Big Bertha feel like a natural woman again. Hence, the egg factory is back in production.

Writing for Search Engine Optimization

Since starting my business in May 2007, I've found increasing opportunities in writing articles and press releases for Internet Marketing firms that specialize in search engine optimization.

In my experiences, writing for SEO purposes has been just like writing any typical article or press release. The only difference is that the Internet marketing firms identify key words that their clients want associated with their Web sites, and those key words must be included in the writing.

This type of work combines journalism and public relations, and might be great for students who have just graduated from college, writers who are looking to do a bit of freelance writing on the side, or writers looking for a slightly different career.

Here are a few opportunities I've found recently:

SEO Copywriter needed at Top Rank Online Marketing
Copy Writers Needed
Web Content Writer/Press Release Writer
SEO Content Writing Position
SEO Copywriter

Whodoneit?

OK, so maybe I just like to write about dog poop. But these opportunities keep presenting themselves, so I can't pass them up. Pictured above are my dogs, Lucy and Callaghan. They are practically the perfect pets.

One of them lost their mind yesterday and decided to poop in the house. Now, when I say "poop in the house," I don't mean one of them pooped on the back door rug because they were trying to get outside and I was ignoring them.

I don't mean one of them pooped in the middle of a room to make a statement about their displeasure with me having brought in two foster puppies from the SPCA, and now that those puppies are gone, here's a sign of things to come if I pull that stunt again.

I mean someone pooped in THE HOUSE. As best I can tell, this event began at the front door rug. Then I found something approximately half the size of a fun-sized Baby Ruth- minus the fun- in the dining room. Finally, I found poop nuggets at the back door.

All I can say is, thank goodness we don't feed our dogs table scraps. Clean-up was a breeze.

I have no way of proving who did this, although I must say that Callaghan looked pretty sheepish as I was muttering obscenities and cleaning it up.

It's a good thing these dogs are cute.

Public Relations- Training A Spokesperson

The Dick Pope/Polk County Chapter of the Florida Public Relations Association hosted a Breakfast and Brainstorming session Tuesday morning on training spokespeople to talk to the media.

James Frankowiak, APR, a member of the DP/PC chapter, lead the discussion. He suggested a common sense approach to training spokespeople and offered a list of questions a public relations professional should ask themselves prior to beginning the training. Those questions include:

• Have I established appropriate media relationships?
• Do my media contacts have current information about my organization?
• Do we have policies and procedures in place for effectively handling media inquiries?
• Does senior leadership understand and agree with why we are engaging in spokespersonship?
• Who is the primary spokesperson? Back-up?

Frankowiak pointed out that the easy part is the training itself- the difficult part is making sure the spokesperson actually is ready to face the media. He said the most effective training is done on camera. When people are able to watch themselves on tape, they are better able to view how their clothing, mannerisms, facial expressions and body language translate on camera.

Spokespeople are more successful if they are able to get on camera three to five times during a training session, Frankowiak has learned. For that reason, it's best to keep training groups small enough to make that camera time possible.

The essence of media training involves knowing the audience being reached, establishing several communications objectives for every spokesperson opportunity and knowing the media person/gatekeeper for that opportunity, Frankowiak said.

Spokesperson training also involves preparing for the questions, situations and scenarios you hope never will occur. Be prepared to answer the toughest conceivable questions, he said. Finally, don't fall into the trap of using industry-specific jargon and lingo on camera. Speak on a topic as though the general public isn't familiar with it- they often aren't.

Spokesperson training also should teach people how to deal with extraordinary situations, Frankowiak said, such as the reporter with an "agenda," rapid-fire questioning, misinformation, or the reporter who simply doesn't have a clue. A well-trained spokesperson should be able to hold up under any of those circumstances.

Afterthoughts

As is often the case in informal brainstorming sessions such as this, as much good information came from the discussions during and after the session as the actual training. I like nothing more than getting into a room of PR professionals with much more experience than me. Often, they have so many great, real-world examples of training in action, and Tuesday's group didn't disappoint.

Lesley Corban of the U.S. Postal Service suggested that during training, those participating switch roles so that sometimes they are the person being interviewed and sometimes they are the interviewer. Being on both sides of the coin can help each understand where the other is coming from.

Jennifer Denham of the United Way of Central Florida gave examples of how being forthright with information to the media at all times can translate into future coverage opportunities for "good news" items, especially when reporters are desperate for something to cover. This happens more often than you might imagine, especially in smaller media markets.

Suleima Salgado of the Polk County Health Department gave an amazing example of how she recently dealt with a television reporter who kept trying to lead her into making a comment she didn't want to make. Salgado stuck to her guns and repeatedly returned to her communications objective during the interview. After becoming frustrated and angry, the reporter finally moved on.

Among the most important information I got from the training were these key points:

• A well-trained spokesperson should be comfortable, believable and sound honest on camera.
• Never let a spokesperson do an interview alone. A PR professional always should be waiting on the sideline, in the event the interview takes an unanticipated turn. The PR professional can work to ensure the interviewer stays on topic.
• Don't be afraid of dead air. Answer your question and then STOP TALKING.
• If you don't know the answer to a question, say so.
• Anticipate the tough questions you don't want to be asked.

Silent Night...Not

I saw this sign hung on my neighbor's back door today and I had to laugh. I love my neighbor. Her dog....not so much. The dog barks incessantly at everything- bikes, skateboards, strollers, children, walkers, joggers, the elderly, other dogs, cats, squirrels, opossums, leaves, acorns, moths, us opening our blinds, us closing our dining room windows. You name it, he flippin' barks at it.

So when I saw this cute sign staring at me as I looked out my dining room window today, I had to laugh at the irony. I don't think I've had a silent night in the seven years I've lived next door to that dog.

Bonnie & Clyde Ride Again

UPDATE: Bonnie and Clyde were adopted by the same family the day I returned them to the SPCA! It looks like these two will have a very merry Christmas.

My sweet little puppies-on-loan will be going back to the Lakeland SPCA on Tuesday. I've fostered them for the past three weeks, and now that they are eight weeks old, they are ready to be adopted.

The past three weeks went really quickly, but they were fun. Bonnie and Clyde pretty much have the hang of walking on a leash, and they are well on their way to being crate trained. I am proud to say that while they were with us, there were onlya handful of pee accidents in the house- no poop accidents.

My prayer is that they will find people to love them as much as I have in the short time I had them.

Puppies are no small responsibility. They require infinite amounts of patience. Bonnie and Clyde have been a great lesson in patience for me. I sure am going to miss them

Help Me Find a Dentist

I'm begging for help here, people. My Lakeland dentist sold his practice. The new dentist says I need a procedure that my old dentist swears is unnecessary. Now I don't know which one to believe. So I'm looking for a third dentist to hopefully give me an objective opinion. I'd like this dentist to specialize in general dentistry, and perhaps cosmetic dentistry.

Here's my criteria:

• He/she must be in Lakeland.
• He/she must have been in practice 10 or more years.
• He/she must be fluent in English. It doesn't have to be their first language, but I need to understand what the heck they're saying.

So please, PLEASE help me out. Post your suggestions in comments

Among the Living

After three full days in the prone position, I finally am beginning to feel as though I am among the living once again. I seem to have come down with the flu, perhaps from being around a bunch of germy 5-year-olds while substituting in a kindergarten class last week. I felt bad for making four of them cry while I was their teacher for the day, but they have squarely exacted their revenge on me, so I shall feel regretful no more!

As if the typical flu isn't bad enough, I seem to have contracted a strain usually common only in children. I quickly noticed I had no control over my sneezes. I'm normally a quiet sneezer, just bursting a bit of air through my nose with relatively little noise. This flu bug turned me into a snotty-nosed sneezer with the characteristics of an oscillating fan- or a 5-year-old. If I didn't have the forsight to grab a Kleenex or cover my mouth with my hand, I was spewing spit and phlegm for 10 feet within a 180-degree radius. And covering my mouth with my hand quickly made me wish I'd done otherwise.

On the bright side, this flu bug made me lose my appetite for three days. On the down side, I don't think I dropped the desired 80 pounds I had hoped for.

VISTE Needs Volunteers

Volunteers in Service to the Elderly needs volunteers to deliver personal care boxes between Dec. 10-20 to about 450 senior citizens.

The boxes contain toiletry items. If you can help, please call (863) 284-0828.

I volunteered to deliver Thanksgiving meals last month through VISTE, and am glad I did. First of all, it took very little of my time. I actually spent more time waiting in line to pick up the meals than it took me to deliver them and visit with the recipients for a few minutes.

There's a good reason why I waited so long in line- there were so many volunteers, it took a while for them to filter through.

So if you want to give of your time this holiday season, but you don't have a lot of time to give, I recommend taking advantage of this opportunity.

Free WiFi Locations in Lakeland

I thought it might be nice to compile a list of free WiFi locations in Lakeland. Problem is, I don't know them all. So these are the ones I know about, and I invite you to comment with additional locations that aren't on the list.

Black and Brew
BD's Mongolian Grill (thanks, Travis)
Mitchell's Coffee House
Panera Bread
Chick-fil-A
Surf Lakeland (WiFi hotspot in Downtown Lakeland area)
Southeastern University (get login code from IT Office)

Careful! Don't Squeeze the Vicks Out from Under my Toenail!

Disclaimer (mainly to Chuck and Barry): you may rank this blog near the laser hair removal blogs on the quease-o-meter. Consider this your warning.


Getting older sucks for several reasons. Lately, my chief complaint is that I seem so much less resilient to ailments than when I was a kid. I've been battling toenail fungus (ewww!) in my right big toe for several months now.


First, you must know that it completely grosses me out to even admit this, but I'm kind of doing it in support of my friend, who recently had a procedure performed on her toe. Shortly thereafter, her five-year-old cousin stomped on said toe with Clydesdale force, and now she's lost all but a couple of millimeters of her toenail. And she's horrified over how it looks.


So to make her feel less self-conscious about her micro-nail, I'm tossing aside all pride and dignity and sharing my fungus story with the blogosphere. That's just the kind of friend I am.


Several months ago I removed some month-old nail polish from my toes and noticed that my right big toe was cloudy yellow. I immediately was disgusted, because I thought I must have toenail fungus. I even hate the word fungus, let alone actually having it under my toe. I went to the dermatologist, who said it wasn’t fungus, that there was some moisture under my toenail and it had caused the nail to pull away from the nail bed.


I wasn't sure whether to believe him. He is a doctor, but he always plays down my complaints. I come to him with "skin issues," and he tells me, "I don't deal in 'skin issues,' Lorrie. I deal in skin cancers." And he says it rather haughtily, as though my complaint of small blister-like appearances on my face- that aren't pimples- and the beginnings of age spots on the backs of my hands and these strange red spots on my skin aren't worth his time. Bastard.


Anyway, I had done some online research prior to seeing him and I found this Web site on toenail fungus remedies. I saw repeatedly that you could put Vicks vapor rub under the nail and the issue would go away. I also heard you could soak your toe in Listerine. He said either one might work.

So weeks and weeks and weeks pass by and it appeared I was making some progress with the Vicks. My toenail went from half of it being cloudy to a quarter of it being cloudy. So I got cocky and quit using the Vicks. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed the cloudiness has come back with a vengeance. And in exactly the same pattern it was before.

All these months I’ve gone sans nail polish in an effort to keep the “moisture” out, and now I’m right back to square one.

My mom swears the dermatologist was wrong. With a cloudy yellow toenail that has taken on the appearance of a Ruffles potato chip, she swears it’s that…. f-word. So I’m back to putting Vicks on it, in hope that I don’t lose my whole toenail.

Now, in the evenings when we're lying down to watch TV and my loving husband offers to put lotion on my feet after a long day of standing, I get to utter these romantic words: "Careful! Don't squeeze the Vicks out from under my toenail!"

That's hot.

Here's what I don't understand: as a kid, I barely wore shoes. I could run barefoot across a yard full of acorns and hickory nuts like one of those idiots running across hot coals and never flinch. During the rainy season, the boys in the neighborhood and I would take inner tubes and float barefooted in about two feet of milky-colored water that collected in the bottom of a nearby pit. How I never wound up with intestinal worms or other parasites is beyond me.

But now I'm grown and I don't do things like that. I keep my feet clean. I use a nail brush to clean my toenails. And now my toenail apparently is so repulsed by the nail bed on which it lies that it obviously would rather pull up shop and run away rather than spend another minute there.


I need help, people. Does anyone know of other home remedies I might try? I refuse to go the prescription drug route. I understand prescription drugs may cure the fungus, but I don't want anything to do with the wacky side effects, such as extreme flatulence, loose stools, sudden gambling urges, decreased sex drive, more painful periods, liver disease, and sprouting of a third arm from my forehead that goes along with these miracle drugs.

The Sounds of the Dentist's Office

I went to a new dentist last week. He bought the practice of my former dentist. Anyhoo, after meeting the new dentist, it was off to the hygienist's chair for my routine teeth cleaning.

As she's putting the final polish on my pearly whites, I hear a strange sound coming from a nearby exam room. I couldn't be sure, but it was the sound of excruciating pain, or it was an orgasm. Either way, it freaked me out.

The hygienist rolls her eyes and says, "Some people are so melodramatic when they are at the dentist's office."

As I'm checking out, the dentist walks by and I ask him, "What in the world are you doing to that woman?"

It turns out she had an infected tooth. I guess that rules out the orgasm.

I looked at him and said, "I picked a good time to get the hell outta here."

Note to self: never let my toothaches get so bad that no one will be able to tell if my screams are in ecstacy or morbid pain.

Things I Love About Lakeland, Florida

I got an email from a high school friend yesterday. We both were born and raised in Ocala. She lives in Chatanooga, Tenn. now. About my moving to Lakeland nearly nine years ago, she said, "So you moved from one small town to another. How is it?"

My first thought was a rather indignant "Lakeland is not small! It's bigger than Ocala, for crying out loud!"

Lakeland has nearly 90,000 residents. Ocala's population is about 52,000. When I think of small towns, I think of Lake Alfred, population 4,500. Or Williston, population 2,300.

But then I thought, well she does live in Chatanooga, population 156,000.

So, for my old friend Ashley, who I've known since fifth grade, and for all you Lakeland residents who might not always think about what makes our city so great, I'm going to answer Ashley's question, "How is it?"

It's home. It's the only place I've ever lived besides Ocala that I have felt comfortable calling home.

I love Lakeland's Downtown area, where I meet my friends at Black & Brew for coffee at least once a week. I enjoy going to the First Friday events each month, grabbing a bite to eat Downtown and strolling around to listen to the saxaphonists, acoustic guitarists, bluegrass and folk musicians staged along the streets. Then there's Palace Pizza, my favorite place to grab a slice.

I love Brooke Pottery, where my husband indulges me in strolling through the shop to look at all the pretty things, and where I pause to look that those beautifully lit hanging stars in the window that would serve no good purpose in my house, but I love them anyway.

I never tire of Munn Park and the way it is decorated during the holidays with brightly lit arches covering the sidewalks and lots of decorations that attract parents of young children by the thousands. I love to watch those children run and play and squeal with delight as they stand in front of the train decoration and get their pictures taken.

I marvel at how the city and local nonprofit organizations plan so many great events in Munn Park. There are arts and crafts festivals, home and garden shows and the Junior Women's Club of Lakeland's annual Family Fest to name a few. Just down the street from Munn Park is the Farmer's Market, open for business every Saturday.

I love Lake Mirror and all the improvements the city has made to that area in the past several years. Purchasing that crappy old motel that once sat across from Texas Cattle Company (home of the free birthday steak) was a beautiful move. Rerouting traffic to be able to eventually create a pedestrian area around the entire lake was a great idea and I'm excited to see the finished product.

Music on the Promenade at Lake Mirror is something I always look forward to. The diversity in music is awesome, and the amphitheater is the perfect place to bring blankets, chairs and a picnic basket full of wine and cheese to enjoy while listening to the music.

Hollis Garden. One could write a book on its beauty.

I love the view of Lake Mirror from the top of the downtown parking garage, especially during the holidays, when the red bell lanterns adorn the street lamps.

Heading east out of Downtown, I love to watch the Jenkins Lincoln Mercury Sputnik sign in action. I was able to write an article for The Ledger and Lakeland Magazine on the sign's renovation earlier this year, and I got to speak to the man who created the sign. Sputnik truly is a piece of Lakeland history, and seeing it spin and twirl in the night sky is quite a site.

So Ashley, I hope this answers your question.

These are pictures of Bonnie. I couldn't get them to post into my blog about being an SPCA foster parent. Isn't she cute?

Volunteering for the SPCA

This is how I've been spending my spare moments for the past week:

1. Wake up at 6 a.m. and feed the puppies.

2. Let puppies outside to go potty.

3. Take puppies for a brief run around the yard or up and down the street.

4. Put puppies in crate.

5. Repeat steps 2-4 over and over and over again.

And I'm loving every minute of it. I recently signed up to be a volunteer foster parent for the SPCA. I've wanted to do this since I read about the opportunity about a year ago on Polk Voice. At the time, my work schedule wouldn't allow for me to do this. Now I have my own business and work from home, which allows me to spend enormous amounts of time with puppies when I don't want to work. The picture above is of Clyde. He's six weeks old today. His sister, Bonnie, is not pictured, because I can't get it to post (I'm still kind of new to blogging). Following in the footsteps of their namesakes, they've been quite the handful. But they're so cute and so fun to watch, they just melt my heart before I can get upset with them for having an accident on my floor (it's hardwood, after all) or chewing through my black Crocs because I failed to keep them out of reach.

I’m trying to be a great foster parent. I'm attempting to crate train Bonnie and Clyde, as well as teach them to walk on a leash without acting like they're being dragged off to their deaths.

That's a fun process. This morning I had each of them on a leash for the first time and they reminded me of young fillies and colts being saddle broken. At the first tug, off they went, bucking and side-stepping, leaning back on their haunches and resisting me. When that wouldn't work, they tried the sympathy approach- whining and wimpering as though they were in excruciating pain. Then it was off to Plan C- launching onto their sides and into an alligator death roll in an attempt to free themselves from the evil leash. The drama was quite comical.

My neighbors swear that these two dogs will soon become permanent members of the Walker household. I insist it isn't true. I simply want to do my part to get these puppies to 9 weeks of age and then turn them back over to the SPCA where they can be adopted into loving homes just in time for Christmas.

If you have the time and patience, I highly recommend becoming an SPCA foster parent. The SPCA provides all the materials you need- food, crate, toys, etc. This time I have young puppies who aren't yet old enough to be adopted, but the SPCA also gets in young kittens and grown dogs and cats who need medication prior to being eligible for adoption.

I've found this to be a worthy cause, and an incredibly entertaining volunteer opportunity.

Good PR Practices When the News is Bad

I read with great disappointment on Friday that Keep Polk County Beautiful's executive director, Janis Davis, was fired on Nov. 19. You can read The Ledger article here. You can read a sloppy and mildly inaccurate version of the story the News Chief published here.

This is a sad story, and not one that Keep Polk County Beautiful was anxious to talk about, I'm sure. But I think their actions in light of this unfortunate event are a good example of what to do when negative publicity comes your way: be forthright with information and don't avoid the media.

By all appearances, KPCB President Tom Parrotte provided all requested information to the media. He explained why the Board of Directors chose to terminate Davis, and he pointed out that despite Davis's judgment error, she was "a real go-getter" for the organization.

In a situation such as this, I think Parrotte took a good public relations approach by not bashing Davis in the media, but just stating the facts.

Earlier today, I stated in this blog that from a public relations standpoint, I don't think I would have issued a press release on this firing. An email I received this morning from James, a PR professional, brought up some good points and I have since changed my stance. This is what he wrote:

"It’s not clear from your blog or the media report who took the first steps relative to the media. My counsel would have been for the organization to seek meetings with its regular beat reporters and tell them what had transpired and why. Perhaps that is what happened. My experience has been it is far better to take that first step when there’s bad news to report. Hiding bad news is never a good strategy since it makes the media wonder what else is lurking in the background. Often this is a hard approach for senior management to take, but it is the right one.

Think about the Tylenol situation many years ago and how they handled the problem. That approach is still considered a sterling best practice."

Later, James responded with some additional comments that I also think are great ideas:

"Before initiating contact with the media regarding the termination, I would have recommended notification to employees and members, as well as any board members not involved in the matter. Also, any major funding sources like United Way or major supporting foundations. It’s never good to have employees or members of a non-profit or other stakeholders read about serious internal matters in the media."

Let's face it, this isn't news you want everyone to know, especially when you're a non-profit organization that relies on public and private funding to carry out your mission. This is the type of news that might jeopardize future funding.

If an organization chooses not to follow James' sound advice, and simply wait to see if the media inquires about a situation such as this, I certainly wouldn't recommend telling them, "No comment," or "This is a personnel issue, and we don't discuss personnel issues."

In response to James' statement about it not being clear whether the media approached KPCB or KPCB reported the firing to the media, the time frame makes one doubt that KPCB approached the media about this. Davis was fired on Nov. 19 and The Ledger reported it on Nov. 30. The News Chief reported it on Dec. 1, which makes it look like they saw it first in The Ledger.

To me, this news item drives home another important public relations topic, especially when it comes to non-profit groups. Leaders of non-profit organizations must maintain the utmost integrity and they should ensure that all of their actions are above reproach at all times. It might be an unfair truth, but the truth is that many volunteers and donors judge a non-profit organization by the actions of its leaders.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that I served as the executive director at Keep Polk County Beautiful for three years. Davis took my place when I resigned.

Best of luck to KPCB in its search to replace Davis. In spite of this misstep, her shoes will be tough to fill.

To all you PR professionals out there, I would love to get your thoughts and opinions regarding how this situation was handled.

Area Bloggers Meeting Well-Attended

This is old news by now, if you read Chuck's Lakeland Local blog, but since I took notes, I felt obligated to write something brief (hopefully) on our recent area bloggers' meeting at Black & Brew.

First of all, a HUGE thank you to the owners of Black & Brew, who stayed open an hour later to accommodate our meeting.

For this meeting, we made a special effort to get women to attend. I'm proud to say there were five of us this time!

We also had a great mix of bloggers and blogger enthusiasts. There were people who don't have blogs, but like to read them, people who blog as part of their work and people who are blogging just for fun.

For those in need of some technical assistance, Josh Hallett and Chuck Welch were on hand. I've heard past reviews of the area bloggers gatherings as the "Chuck and Josh Show," but I don't think this meeting could be called that. From my vantage point, everyone got to offer some input, as well as ask some questions.

Jess Wilcox, the new editor of Polk Voice , was there. She's making an effort to get more Polk County residents blogging. Additionally, she wants feedback. So if you're surfing at Polk Voice and you see a post that strikes your fancy, leave a comment. If you want to see something on Polk Voice that isn't there, email Jess. She wants to make this a true community blog site.

Lakeland Police Department Assistant Chief Bill LePere also was there. His Inside LPD blog is designed to give the public more insight into the department's activities, and he doesn't want to shy away from controversial topics.

Steve, who has a personal blog appropriately titled Blogging This, was there. He has the term "brief blogs" down to an art form. I admire that. I obviously don't have that talent.

Travis represented his Winter Lake Church blog, which he admits doesn't represent the church very much. But you should check it out, because it has one of the funniest videos I've seen in a while involving a newlywed couple's first dance as husband and wife.

Cat Carter, who writes the YLakeland blog, also attended, as did The Ledger's Tom Palmer and Barry Friedman. Tom has a blog at The Ledger, and a blog about his volunteer efforts at Lake Blue Scrub, while Barry writes the What's New Online blog at The Ledger. Other attendees were Ginger and Sal, each of whom blog a bit on their MySpace pages, and Darby, who works for Polk County Tourism and Sports Marketing.

Billy Townsend, a Tampa Tribune reporter who blogs about Polk County at tbo.com, showed up as we were wrapping things up.

Gatherings such as this one help me learn more about blogging, as well as learn a little about why others blog. It's interesting to see what piques other people's interests.

Note: I didn't put everyone's last names in here, because unlike me, not everyone is an open book. So if you're in here by first name only and want me to add your full name, email me.

Public Relations 101- Return A Freaking Phone Call

With a background as a journalist and as a public relations professional, I feel fortunate to have been on both sides of this fence that I currently straddle- albeit uncomfortably.

As a public relations professional, I make it a priority to be as cooperative with the media as possible. I want them to write about the companies I represent when these companies have something important to say. I also want the media to have all of the facts and information to write a fair story when they are writing about a less-than-flattering topic regarding the companies I represent. This is the dance you must learn in public relations. Sometimes the media will write about what you want them to, and other times they will write about what you wish they hadn't. But above all, keeping those communication lines open is paramount.

As a reporter at a daily newspaper, nothing was more irritating than to leave messages with people you needed to get comments from, and as your deadline loomed, the people hadn't returned your calls. In the back of my mind, I would find myself thinking that if it was possible to work around this person next time, I would do so.

These days I play the role of reporter and public relations professional, which makes this dance even more interesting. I am a freelance writer for several Polk County publications, and I've had two instances recently that to me, really drive home the title of this blog- return a freaking phone call!

Instance #1- I recently wrote an article about company Christmas parties, the reasons for having them and the potential liabilities involved. My husband works for Publix (I love Publix, so it pains me to write this), and I learned that the employees in his department had raised their own money to host a Christmas party. I wanted to speak to the organizers and make arrangements to get photos at their party to accompany my story. I called a fellow Florida Public Relations Association member involved in PR with Publix, and she referred me to the appropriate person I needed to speak with to obtain permission to conduct this interview. I called that person and emailed her. I called four times. I emailed twice. I spoke to another woman in her office. I never- NEVER- received a call back.

I was indignant. And, I said to myself, "Screw it. If they don't want good publicity, I'm certainly not going to force it down their throats."

Is this a professional attitude? Certainly not. But take note, PR professionals: this is how MANY journalists react when you don't do what they want, when they want it. It's an ugly truth, but it's the truth, nonetheless.

I went to this Christmas party with my husband and wound up meeting the organizer I had hoped to interview for my story. It turns out that she knew I had been inquiring about an interview. The woman who never returned my phone calls had been working behind the scenes to get me my interview. Here's the problem: I never knew that, so I moved on to other sources. The party organizer couldn't have been more disappointed to hear that I no longer planned to include the Publix angle in my story. She was apologetic, and was sure to tell me she had been seeking permission to speak to me through her chain of command. This is a concept I understand well. I would have been glad to hold off on the story, had I known that my requests were being addressed. Instead, I felt ignored and disregarded.

Incident #2- This is a story idea that isn't dead yet, so I'm intentionally being a bit vague. I've placed two calls to a source at Lakeland Regional Medical Center about a feel-good story I hope to do for a local publication's spring issue. The group within the hospital has an on-going complaint of never getting any media attention. I'm prepared to help change that by doing this story. The friend who told me about the story idea gave me a point of contact at LRMC. I've called this person twice, and she hasn't called me back. I spoke to my friend recently and told her I've made two attempts, to no avail.

The friend calls the contact person and finds out that she has received my messages, but she is going through the public relations representatives at the hospital to get permission to speak to me. Again, this is a concept I understand. So why not call me and tell me that, so I at least know you've received my messages?

Solution
So what am I getting at, dear PR professionals? Return a freaking phone call!!! If a reporter calls and wants to do a story, but you must first clear it through your internal processes, that's fine. We understand. But CALL US AND TELL US THAT. Don't leave us hanging, thinking that you're disregarding our requests for interviews.

And to those of you who include not returning phone calls in your day-to-day PR practices, let me share this with you: you are soooooo not doing yourselves any favors with the media. Reporters are avoiding people such as you like the plague. You are the ones on whom we hinge our hopes of getting those great quotes by deadline. And you are the ones who disappoint us. And then, you become the ones we put on our mental list of people not to call, because you refuse to return a freaking phone call.

I would love to hear from journalists and PR professionals on this one, so I welcome your comments. Don't hold back!

Book Review- The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman

Note: I recently decided to read the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman and to write reviews on the three books. You can read about the reason why here, and you can read my review of the first book, The Golden Compass, here.

The Subtle Knife is the second installment in atheist Philip Pullman's trilogy, His Dark Materials. This fantasy starts off by introducing another young hero into the mix, Will Parry. Like Lyra Belacqua, the heroine in the series, Will is mature beyond his years, and has charged himself with caring for his mentally ill mother and finding his father, an explorer.

Lyra has located her father, for whom she had been searching, but they have parted ways once again. Now that she and Will have crossed paths while hopping from world to world through various "windows," she vows after a slight deviation to use her knowledge and her magical truth-telling device to help Will find his father.

Gone- at least for now- is the threat of the Gobblers, who stole children. Now adults live in fear of the Specters of Indifference, who devour adults by sapping the life blood from them, leaving them, well, indifferent to their surroundings.

Together, Lyra and Will jump between two worlds to meet with scholars and find people who can help them find Will's father. Lyra briefly loses her magical device to a man who offers to return it if she and Will bring him the Subtle Knife.

This mystical knife can slice through anything and can create windows into other worlds, as well as protect adults from the Specters.

This book has more religious undertones, and the Watchers, who are angels, become part of the cast of characters. It also becomes clear that Lyra's father, Lord Asriel, is working toward some sort of confrontation with God.

Warning- consider this your spoiler alert.

Toward the end of the book, we learn that Lyra has another role to play besides the heroine in this trilogy. She apparently is destined to be Eve. Only this time, she won't fall, unlike the Biblical story of Eve in the Garden of Eden, where she is tempted by the serpent and eats from the forbidden tree.

We also learn that in addition to its previously mentioned uses, the Subtle Knife can defeat God. The "rebel angels" cast out of Heaven didn't have anything like this knife, so the door is opened to the possibilities that lie ahead now that there is such a knife.

Personal Thoughts

The controversy in these books has been the idea that Pullman is trying to kill God in the minds of children. Previously, others have mentioned that The Golden Compass is the tamest of the three books and based on The Subtle Knife, I agree. This second book is far more graphic and violent, in my opinion. People are attacked by Specters, characters are killed, others are maimed. It becomes clear that there is a belief among characters in the book that God can be defeated.

There are some touching moments in this book, where Will and Lyra realize they are the best friends either has had. There is a comical moment when Lyra confronts the thief who stole her device and she's so angry, she barely can contain her rage. Will learns a great deal about his father, and the pride he has in his father increases enormously.

But beneath all of this, I finished this book feeling disturbed by the notions presented, and almost dreading what will be introduced in the final book, The Amber Spyglass.

I still mostly hold to my belief that a book based on fantasy could not succeed in killing God in the minds of children, but now I think that it holds true for children raised in Christian households, and maybe not so much for children who are not taught about having a personal relationship with God.

I tend to agree, at this point, with some of the concern about The Golden Compass movie coming to theaters Dec. 7. I can see where a movie based on the book might lure children into reading all of the books. I'm not sure yet if I would want my children reading The Subtle Knife.

I'm now reading The Amber Spyglass. I hope to have it completed and a review written by Dec. 7.

Book Review- The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

Note: I previously wrote an explanation as to why I'm reviewing the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman, which you can read here if you care to.


The Golden Compass is the first in atheist Philip Pullman's trilogy, His Dark Materials. This is a fascinating sort of science fiction story that involves the supernatural and a scrappy little girl whose bravery and perseverance render heroic results.

Wildly imaginative and nail-bitingly suspensful in parts, the story is centered around Lyra and her daemon, Pantalaimon.

We learn that in Lyra's world, almost everyone has a daemon- not demon- who sort of acts as the person's soul, and can change its form into different animals.

Lyra is a willful, fearless tween-ager who lives at Jordan College in Oxford. Her impertinent behavior early in the book sets her on a course of adventure in which she meets powerful, armored polar bears, witches and other exciting characters.

It becomes apparent that Lyra, either by birth or by happenstance, is charged with many a heroic responsibility as she embarks on a journey to save her friend from the Gobblers and to free her imprisoned father. She uses help from a band of Gypsies combined with her own raw wit, guile and a magical device previously given to her by the college's Master to accomplish her destiny.

Personal Thoughts
There has been quite a stir on the Internet and in Christian communities about this trilogy. Some Christians believe this is Pullman's way of attempting to kill the belief in God among children. It is said that The Golden Compass is the "tamest" of the three books.

With the movie based on this book set to be in theaters on Dec. 7, some Christians have voiced concerns that parents will take their children to see this movie, then children will want to read the books. They fear reading The Golden Compass will lure children into reading the other two books, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass, which are said to be less subtle in their denouncement of God.

I am a Christian, and I loved reading The Golden Compass. I found it to be exciting, well-written and incredibly entertaining. It made me anxious to see the movie, even though I almost never like movies based on books as much as I like books themselves.

Because I was aware of the controversy going into it, I found myself constantly trying to read more into the story than perhaps was there. The whole daemon thing through me for a loop early on, but as best I can tell, there is nothing "evil" about these daemons.

The whole story involves underlying themes of a sort of battle between church and science, and Chapter 21 mentions Genesis Chapter 3, where Eve is speaking to the serpant about eating from the tree in the middle of the garden. The author puts an interesting spin on it by quoting the Bible as saying that the serpant told Eve if she ate of that tree, her eyes would be opened and "your daemons shall assume their true forms, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."

I view my Bible as I view my Coca-Cola. I don't want anyone screwing around with its ingredients. No vanilla or cherry Coke for me, just the Classic stuff, thank you. I don't like reading where anyone is changing wording in the Bible, even if it is fiction.

But with that said, I believe a fiction book can convince children not to believe in God about as much as I believe that children get violent tendencies from watching Yosemite Sam and Roadrunner/Coyote cartoons. Children know when they're reading a story and when they're reading something based on the truth. This book clearly is fantasy.

Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to finishing the last two books to see if my views change.

The Golden Compass Controversy

11/24/07- You can read my The Golden Compass book review here.

The movie “The Golden Compass” starring Nicole Kidman is coming to theaters Dec. 7. It is based on the trilogy of books geared toward young adults written by atheist Philip Pullman.

I recently received a forwarded email stating that Pullman wants children to denounce God and Heaven, "but he does it in a very subtle way that parents may not pick up on what his true intentions are."

The email goes on to state that in a 2003 interview, Pullman said “My books are about killing God.”

Then comes the call to action: Please don’t take your kids to see this movie!! Send this to EVERYONE you know!!! We need to get the word out about this movie and make sure that no one supports it!!!

One responsible inclusion in the email is a link to snopes.com, the great Internet urban myth-buster: http://snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

I read the information on Snopes, and after having coffee one evening with my friend, a fellow Christian who also loves a good controversy, I decided to read this trilogy for myself and draw my own conclusions.

I understand not everyone will do the same. So for those of you non-readers, I'll be writing book reviews on all three books very soon. My goal is to have all of them completed by Dec. 7, when The Golden Compass opens in theaters. Stay tuned!

Laser Hair Removal Numbing Cream

Through the advances of Internet technology, I've discovered many people visiting my site lately have been seeking information on the type of numbing cream used in laser hair removal treatment.

This is what Ideal Image uses: it's called triple anesthetic cream, and it's a combination of benzocaine, lidocaine, tetracaine and phenylephrine.

Instructions call for applying the cream to the laser treatment site one hour prior to treatment and covering the area with plastic wrap. You are advised not to use this cream if you are pregnant or nursing. Honestly, I think laser hair removal would be the last thing on the mind of a pregnant woman.

Personally, I have found the cream to be a huge help in keeping pain and discomfort during treatment at bay. I have several blogs on laser hair removal.

Volunteers Needed to Deliver Thanksgiving Meals on Wednesday

I read in The Ledger on Nov. 15 that Volunteers in Service to the Elderly needed 750 volunteers to deliver Thanksgiving meals this Wednesday, Nov. 21.

I tried this morning to call the number listed in the article, but it went to voice mail and the mailbox was full. So I called the regular VISTE number: (863) 284-0828 and Clara Hill was gracious enough to give me some great information to share.

VISTE hasn't reached its 750 volunteers yet, but there's still time to offer your services. Those interested in delivering a Thanksgiving meal and visiting with the recipient for a bit are asked to report to the Lakeland Center Entrance 2 at 3:30 p.m. or after on Wednesday.

If it were me, I would call first to make sure they still need volunteers, but I have a sneaking suspicion that if you just show up, there will be a meal ready for you to deliver.

Plan now to help out this Christmas
I don't have details on delivery dates yet, but VISTE also puts together about 300 "personal care boxes" for the elderly, and volunteers will be needed to deliver them this Christmas. The boxes include toilet paper, paper towels, lotion, hair spray, toothpaste, soap and other toiletries.

Gift Ideas for the Person Who Has Everything

We all have one in our family: that person who has everything. What the heck do you buy them? Here is a list of items- some rather off the wall, perhaps- you might consider for that tough-to-buy-for person.

I'll continue to work on this list as I think of more ideas, but these are a few to get you started:

For the Gardener

• Rain chains. These are a pretty alternative to those plain-looking aluminum rain gutter spouts. Learn more at http://www.rainchain.com/. You also can purchase rain chains from http://www.windandweather.com/


• Sign them up for a class through the Florida Yards and Neighborhoods program. Click here for a list of upcoming events. This list doesn't go into 2008 yet, but you can call (863) 519-8677 for more information.


• Compost bin. Every gardener needs good soil. Help them create their own with a compost bin. There are numerous types out there, but I use the Earth Machine. You can learn more about the Earth Machine and composting in general here.

For Women

• Purse hooks. I first saw these when a friend of mine pulled hers out at the mall while we were sitting down to eat lunch. These decorative little hooks attach to a surface and keep your purse from touching the ground. Engenious! I bought mine at Firefly in Lakeside Village in Lakeland, but I understand that Babes Shoes and Apparel also carries them, as well as Bed, Bath and Beyond. BB&B has the best deal with a 2-pack for under $10, but the purse hooks at Firefly are much prettier, in my opinion.


• Massage and/or facial gift certificates. I recently had my first facial at Purity Skin & Body Care on S. Florida Avenue. I recommend booking with Katrina for the anti-aging facial. You can read a local review of the spa here.


• Hair and makeup gift certificates. My new favorite salon is Michael Rose Hair Designs in the Scottsdale Plaza on S. Florida Avenue in Lakeland, but I also love Revelations, which is just south on the Polk Parkway on S. Florida. Neither has Web sites that I could find, which is a bit annoying.

For Anyone

• Gift cards to local coffee houses. I prefer Black & Brew . For anyone who loves coffee, tea, desserts and great food in a place with wonderful ambience, this is the place to go. And Chuck Welch's young daughter ALWAYS recommends the chocolate cake. Judging by the chocolate ring that's around her mouth each time she eats it, I'd say her opinion is worth listening to. But there's also Mitchell's, another locally owned coffee shop I also enjoy, and if you're not very creative or don't live locally, Starbuck's doesn't disappoint.

• Publix gift cards. Let's face it. Everyone needs groceries. So get a gift card to a grocery store where shopping is a pleasure, not from a place that claims to be getting better all the time, for crying out loud. And don't even mention Wal-Mart to me. Please.

• Gas gift cards. Just as everyone needs groceries, nearly everyone has a bottomless pit to fill in their gas tank. This is the type of gift the recipient truly will thank you for, in light of the recent gas prices.

• Subscription to The Ledger or your gift recipient's hometown newspaper.

FPRA Meeting at Southeastern University

Southeastern University's student chapter of the Florida Public Relations Association hosted the local professional chapter (Dick Pope/Polk County) today and the meeting was wonderful.

I think I'm a bit partial, due to having worked at Southeastern until earlier this year, but I have to say this- one thing Southeastern University's Development Office knows how to do is to put on a function. The staff in the Development Office have done an amazing job of sharing that valuable skill set with the student FPRA chapter. The students were wonderful and President Leah Spellman was on the ball throughout the function.

More than once throughout the meeting, I heard fellow FPRA members talking about how beautiful the campus was, how helpful the staff and students were and how effortlessly the luncheon seemed to flow.

Several of the student chapter's 15 members were pinned today. I hope that they get all they can out of their membership. I am guilty of not using my membership to its fullest extent, so I hope the students won't follow in my footsteps in that regard.

Southeastern Vice President for Development James L. Davis was today's speaker, and he shared some fascinating information on the school's growth in recent years.

Fast Facts

• The school's budget has grown from $14 million to $40 million in the past eight years.
• There were 910 students enrolled when President Mark Rutland came to Southeastern in 1999. Today there are 3,069 students enrolled.
• New academic buildings and a new performing arts center are slated to be built.
• Off-site campuses are being considered in Europe, the Middle East and California.
• Efforts are in place to double the school's $5 million endowment within the next five years.
• Two more master's degree programs and the university's first doctorate degree will be offered in Fall 2008.

Davis spoke about the university's leadership and how they got the school from being within six months of permanently closing its doors to being a thriving Christian university with lots of growth potential.

All in all, the information was great for a public relations crowd, because most people in public relations have dealt with fundraising at some level. Going into the meeting, I worried that it might turn into a shameless plea for money. After all, Davis is tasked with raising large sums of money for the school each year. He bordered on going overboard toward the end, but overall, his message was good. Davis is a great speaker and he's very engaging.

For Journalism/PR Students

Today's meeting drove home once again how important it is, in my opinion, for students to get involved in organizations such as FPRA. These student organizations and their partnerships with the local professional organizations are an amazing way to make contacts within the profession, to open themselves up to valuable internship opportunities and to shadow professionals in the workplace.

I had a delightful conversation with two student chapter members today and we talked at length about internships, getting that first job, etc. They were nervous about it. They asked questions about their resumes. They wondered if their lack of professional experience would make it difficult to land a great internship or that great first job. I hope that by the end of our conversation, I had alleviated some of their fears, because they are in a GREAT position right now. They're in college, they're a member of FPRA and they have a ton of resources at their disposal because of that.

I gave them my business card and told them if they would email me, I would be happy to send them information on some great PR books I've read recently, as well as an idea for a resume when you don't have a lot of professional experience. I hope they take me up on my offer.

I also hope other FPRA members will extend similar offers to the students at both the Southeastern and the Florida Southern College FPRA chapters. We've amassed a great deal of knowledge in our careers, and I think we owe it to the younger generation to share what we can and help make them as successful as they want to become.

It's refreshing to see students so engaged in their education and in their plans after college. I want to do whatever I can to help them.

So for all you journalism/PR students out there: this is my open invitation to you. Ask me your questions. Share your concerns. If I can't provide answers for you, I will attempt to point you in the direction of someone who can.

In the mean time, I've written several blogs lately that might be of help to college journalism/PR students. Here's one on the importance of checking your work when writing and editing . There also are some blogs about a magazine internship, other internships and choosing those internships wisely.

A Sign of Things to Come

I blogged yesterday about the Holiday Fest event held annually at Publix. The Polk County event is over, but for those friends of mine in Ocala, your Publix stores will hold their Holiday Fest festivities this Thursday, Nov. 15.

At tonight's event, several boxes were placed around the store to win various prizes- $50 Publix gift card, a poinsettia, tickets to an adventure park, etc.

We walked through the store sampling desserts and meats and crackers and cookies. In fact, when we got home, we weren't hungry for supper- we just had dessert.

Later, Grove Park Publix Manager Eric Richards called to tell me I won the "Decadent Dessert Platter" in tonight's drawing!!! I have no idea was that is, but it has "decadent" and "dessert" in the name and since those are two of my favorite words, I know I'm gonna love it!

I wasn't feeling very lucky about winning anything tonight because of my recent disappointment at the Best Buy Reward Zone event, where I won diddly squat in their contest.

But after tonight's good fortune, I'm thinking this is a sign of things to come. After all, I'm registering every day to win the DIY kitchen and bathroom makover sweepstakes. And anyone who's been to my house knows I need to win this contest way more than I need a Decadent Dessert Platter.

So here's hoping Fortuna (that's my little shout out to one of my favorite books, A Confederacy of Dunces) smiles down on me and keeps the good luck flowing my way.

Holiday Fest at Publix Nov. 13

Publix Super Markets is holding its annual Holiday Fest tomorrow night (Tuesday, Nov. 13) from 4-7 p.m. at their stores.

There will be free samples, door prizes and more.

If you're interested in getting some help with selecting the right menu or would like some festive ideas for your holiday party, visit www.publix.com/entertaining. They have an easy to use planning guide that promises to help you host a memorable event.

I'll be at our neighborhood Publix in the Grove Park Shopping Center tomorrow night. Hope to see you there!

Being Nerdy at Best Buy

I never knew being a Best Buy Reward Zone member could have such perks. Last week I got an invitation in the mail to attend a special "members only" sales event at Best Buy tonight from 8:30 to 10:30 p.m. That's prime watching-TV-in-bed time at my house, but something about being part of this "exclusive" event appealed to me. So much so, in fact, I invited friends to go along, which was allowed, according to the invitation.

My friend Ginger and I left a few minutes after 7 p.m. to go up to Best Buy. We had to be there early to get in line. We're laughing all the way, commenting about how nerdy we are to even be interested in this event. As we pull into the parking lot, we see that a line already has formed.

I'm ticked, because the invitation said the first 100 customers in line would receive a free wireless mouse (for which I have no use) and I thought there might already be 100 people in line. I had Ginger drop me off up front so I could get in line and save us a spot while she parked her Jeep.

They hand out tickets for the free mouse and thankfully, Ginger and I each get one.

When they open the doors, we all herd in like cattle. The camera Ginger wants isn't in stock. I have nothing in mind that I want to buy. Really, I am there to win a $50 gift card, which they are giving away every 15 minutes. I went in there fully expecting to hear my number called, and I am indignant each time they didn't call it. We hang out until 10 p.m.

Let me just say this: an hour and a half is a looong time to spend in a store, even if it is Best Buy. We strolled through areas full of products we had no interest in just to kill time. I learned about products I never knew existed.

For example, have you ever heard of a portable washing machine? Well, for $129, it could be yours.

How about a gas stove that has five burners- four in the regular spots and one in the middle?

Did you know you can purchase the entire Beverly Hillbillies series for $16.99?

Or that Best Buy doesn't carry any CDs by The Art of Noise? More importantly, can you believe that Ginger was looking for a CD by The Art of Noise?

After learning all these interesting facts, we claimed our free mice and headed out. I was wondering what the heck I'm going to do with my mouse, but then an idea came to mind. Yesterday I bought a book on etiquette and in the section about parties, I learned it is good etiquette to bring a gift to the host of a party to which you have been invited.
So here's a word to the wise for all my friends: if you want this mouse, you better invite me over soon, because once the word gets out about what's in store, my party card is gonna be full.

Sloppy Writing or Editing

I'm going to go out on a limb here and point out a couple of irritating bits of writing in the article on Marshal Seymour in Friday's edition of The Ledger. I say "going out on a limb" because I am a writer, and I make mistakes too. But just as I want people to tell me when I've made one (it makes me a better writer) I feel The Ledger reporters and/or editors ought to know when they've written something that bugs me.

And for all of you college journalism/PR students out there, as well as you freelance writers, use this as a wake-up call to pay attention to your writing. Once the paper is printed, you can't unring that bell.

Irritating writing example #1- "A Lakeland businessman who said he met Seymour through the church, Steve Sloan, also testified Thursday..."

That is incredibly awkward, in my opinion. I think it would have been better to write, "Steve Sloan, a Lakeland businessman who said he met Seymour through the church, also testified Thursday..."

Irritating writing example #2- "After court, Canady said of his son-in-law's arrest, 'It's a railroad job in a lot of ways.' He claimed Lakeland police were trying to pressure his wife to divorce Seymour."

Now if you don't see something that's just plain wrong here, go back and reread it. The way that second sentence is written, the writer is saying that Lakeland police were trying to pressure Canady's wife to divorce Seymour. I know the sentence is supposed to mean that Canady said Lakeland police were trying to pressure Seymour's wife to divorce her husband, Marshal Seymour. But that's certainly not the way it was written.

More on Bike Riding

Today was a beautiful Saturday, so my husband and I got the bikes out and went for a long ride.
We hit our usual destination- Downtown Lakeland. The normal Saturday farmer's market was going on and today was the Veteran's Day parade. I'm glad we went to that, because not nearly enough people did. I wish Americans did more to honor their veterans.

From there, we rode down South Florida Avenue to Michael Rose Hair Designs. I wanted some information on a good gel to put in my hair when I'm flat-ironing it.

Then we were off to Edgewood Avenue, where we were looking for a place to buy some cold drinks before heading over to Handley Park to eat our ham sandwiches we brought with us. We stopped for drinks at a Texaco station that reeked of urine and swore never to go back.

After eating our sandwiches, we eyed a huge swing set and decided to swing a bit before continuing our ride. My husband pushed me to get me going- even though I still know how to swing by myself- then he got on the swing next to me.

Immediately, the competition begins as to who can swing the highest. He's cutting through the air like a knife through warm butter, stretching out his long legs and leaning backward until he's formed a straight line. I'm laughing uncontrollably and just hanging on to avoid falling out of my swing.

Then he starts to slow down because he says- and I quote- "My balls are starting to feel weird."

He slows down and gets off the swing when he spies a pull-up bar. He's always been tall, slim and athletic. He was one of those punks who always won the President's Physical Fitness Award in school. And he reminded me of that right before he said he used to do 20 or 30 pull-ups at a time.

Well, on this day, he did two. And a pitiful excuse for a third. And the faces he made while doing them made me rue the day my digital camera broke, because I'll never get those expressions on film.

We came home, put the bikes away and I went to feed our lone, no-egg-laying chicken, when I noticed she had a guest. A little red banty rooster was strutting around in her pen. I have no idea where he came from, but if I were a betting woman, I would guess he came from the neighbor's yard behind us. We thought we'd been hearing a rooster in the mornings coming from that direction. We ran him off, but a few minutes ago, I saw him wandering around in the pen again. Now they both appear to be in the hen house and I guess he's spending the night. And those two aren't even married. I'm appalled.

Area Blogger Meeting Nov. 27

If you write a blog, plan to write a blog or just like to read blogs, make plans now to attend the fourth (?) meeting of area bloggers. Don't worry if your site is a diary, journal, PR blog or media blog...everyone is welcome.

We're meeting Tuesday, Nov. 27 at 7 p.m. at Black and Brew in Lakeland ( 205 East Main Street ).

If you're a girl, please come. These meetings are male-dominated and they don't want to keep it that way.

Disclosure: I stole the basic wording of this announcement from Lakeland Local, written by Chuck Welch, male blogger.

Hey...that reminds me of "Fred Garvin, male prostitute" from the old SNL days...

Bike Rides and Butt Cramps

I jumped on the bike this afternoon to run my errands. I blogged earlier this week about the insane gas prices, and if I had any second thoughts about running errands on my bike, they were sucked into my fuel tank yesterday along with the $47.03 I spent to fill up the VW. I paid three dollars and thirty-seven freaking cents a gallon for diesel.

My first errand was to the Missouri Avenue Post Office. I stopped at the light (see that, Chuck?) at Lakeland Police Department. A Ford Explorer coming out of the LPD lot got tired of waiting for the light to turn green and ran it. Yes, right in front of the Police Department.

I dropped off my envelope at the Post Office, and headed down to The Ledger to pick up a print version of Polk Voice. I don't know why I want the print version. It's all on this site, but I'm still kind of old-fashioned, in that I prefer my news on newsprint. I've tried uneventfully to get it delivered to my home, but gave up on that notion months ago.

The powers-that-be at The Ledger mean well. But they obviously can't convince my paper carrier to deliver the Polk Voice to me on Wednesday, every Wednesday. I often wonder if other people have the same complaint. I got tired of complaining. Before I gave up completely, I had the district supervisor's cell phone number, and every Wednesday morning I would call him to request the Polk Voice after it didn't arrive with my paper.

There were times when I'd get the paper religiously for two weeks, then nothing. No rhyme or reason to it. So now I pick it up via bicycle.

From there, I rode through Dixieland on Missouri and then got onto S. Florida Avenue. I rode to the Southgate Publix and got cash for tonight's Dreadnaughts game. It's going to be chilly and I want a black LHS hoodie.

I rode back up South Florida Avenue and turned onto Poinsettia, then meandered my way down to Lake Hollingsworth. I debated on whether to ride up that mother of a hill on Success Avenue. Since I didn't want to do it, I felt like I really should do it anyway. Coming around the lake, I was feeling really tired and was about to wuss out when my cell phone rang. A break!

It was my partner in laser hair removal crime, wanting to talk about our next appointment. I stopped to chat for a couple of minutes, got my second wind, and tackled the hill on Success.
I pass the swans on Lake Morton and make it up another hill just in time to get a butt cramp. Apparently, riding my bike rigorously five out of the last seven days has ticked off my muscles. Luckily, the rest of the way home was mostly downhill.

Speaking of bike riding, Chuck Welch at Lakeland Local wrote a great blog about bicycle safety rules today. You can check it out here.

Staying in Polk County for the Holidays? Check this out.

Here's another email to share with you. This one came from my friend Darby at the Central Florida Visitors and Convention Bureau.

If you have relatives coming for the holidays and you have no room for them to stay at your place, refer your family and friends to http://www.visitcentralflorida.org/ and click on the "Home for the Holidays" feature on the left side. This is where you will find special offers for Nov. 15-Dec. 31, 2007.

The special offers can be used by the entire family, not just those staying at the accommodation.
When your guests book Polk County lodging, tell them to be sure to mention the Home for the Holidays offer. This isn't just for hotels, folks. There are special rates at vacation rental homes, bed and breakfasts and more.

In looking at the site, some of the choices that caught my eye included:

Lakeland

• Lake Morton Bed & Breakfast, where guests can get a 10 percent discount.
• Hyatt Place- it's newly renovated! They're offering a $99 rate, which includes continental breakfast and free wi-fi.
• Terrace Hotel- always a Lakeland favorite. $119 for deluxe rooms.

Lake Wales

• Cherry Pocket Fish Camp - you can stay in a fully furnished cabin for two nights and get the third night free. I've always heard this is an awesome place to eat, too.

Like I stated earlier, these are just the places that caught my eye. I encourage you to check the Web site yourself, because there are numerous places on the list.

Upon arrival, guests will receive a value card with more than 40 offers for attractions, restaurants and shops. Guests also can enjoy savings at Polk County’s top attractions and holiday activities -- such as Historic Bok Sanctuary, Fantasy of Flight, the Florida Air Museum and musical productions, as well as ice-skating at the Lakeland Center.

Call the Central Florida Visitors and Convention Bureau for more information: (863) 534-2500.

Lakeland's Community Development Department Needs Your Input

I got an interesting email today from Lynn Schindler, senior planner in Lakeland's Community Development Department.

Lynn says Community Development is in the process of updating its Comprehensive Plan for the State. This "is a document to improve the quality of life for existing neighborhoods, businesses and residents as we face continued growth during the next 10 years," Lynn's email stated.

Community Development is looking for feedback on the four questions at the end of a Power Point presentation titled “Transportation Element Update Presentation” located here on the city's Web site. There also is a link for emailing your comments or questions directly to Chuck Barmby. The four questions are on the last page of the presentation.

These are the questions, along with my personal input:

1. Which activity centers should be linked with a better bicycle/pedestrian pathway network?
Since Southeastern University continues to grow exponentially and offers a beautiful place to ride bikes, as well as a venue for lots of performing arts events, I would like to see better bike paths and/or sidewalks built between the Lake Bonny boat ramp on E. Main Street and Southeastern. Riding a bike along Longfellow Blvd. from E. Main Street to Colonial Avenue is scary, because there’s no good way to stay out of the vehicular traffic. Also, a better non-motorized travel area along N. Crystal Lake Drive, from Bartow Road to Longfellow Blvd. would be good for the same reasons.

2. What gaps and barriers do you see in the existing system?
I don't believe I see any that aren’t being addressed. I hope there soon will be a path completely around Lake Mirror.

3. Which locations do you feel are most dangerous for non-motorized travel? South Florida Avenue; Longfellow Blvd.; Bartow Rd.

4. Which types of pathways do you prefer and would like to see developed throughout Lakeland?
I love the idea of bike paths everywhere. I live 1 ½ miles outside of Downtown and with my bike, I am able to run lots of errands that I’d otherwise have to drive to accomplish. The easier and safer it is for me to ride my bike, the less I’m going to drive my car.

Gas Prices and Adventures in Bike Riding

Everyone is crying about gas prices again, including me. I drive a VW Passat TDI- that's a diesel. It gets crazy-good fuel mileage, but I paid $3.21/gallon the last time I filled it up. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it- I get great mileage, but I pay more than most people pay for the high-test at the pump. The one thing I'm holding out on is that this car is going to last me 10 or more years. I think that what I won't be paying in car payments all those years eventually will cancel out what I pay at the pump. Lord, I hope so.

With that said, I'm trying to ride my bike more these days. I live close to Downtown Lakeland, so there's no reason why I can't run errands on my bike. This is evidenced by my last blog, Morning Bike Rides, Money Markets, etc.

This morning I set out to take my dry cleaning to the $1.75 cleaners on South Florida Avenue across from the evil Wal-Mart. I had something like four pair of dress pants, one dress and two shirts. It was a pile of clothes. And it was bulky. And, after riding several miles, it was heavy.

Hauling that many clothes on my bike was tricky. I had to neatly fold all my dirty dry cleaning and stuff it in my bicycle basket. I stuffed what wouldn't fit into my backpack. I'm sure I looked like the Clampetts rolling down the road with a bicycle basket and backpack full of dry cleaning, but at least people knew I am a well-dressed Clampett.

The $1.75 cleaners is much closer to home when I'm driving in my V-Dub. On my bike, it's like, 47 miles away.

Along the way, I'm dodging distracted drivers like I'm in a pinball machine. No one seems to believe in keeping crosswalks clear, or looking to see if anyone is in the crosswalk before turning. I mean, how could they? It takes far too much attention to light cigarettes, talk on cell phones and smack kids in the back seat while driving.

The ride back from the dry cleaners is much easier without 20 pounds of dry cleaning, although I have to say, that backpack full of clothing kept my back warm during the ride.

I ride to Southgate Shopping Center to check the hours at Marshall's Jewelry. They don't open until 9:30 a.m., and I'm not hanging out an hour and a half to buy my Dreadnaughts football tickets. This will be a trip for the V-Dub this afternoon.

I continue along South Florida Avenue all the way to Downtown, which I wouldn't recommend in the morning. If the distracted drivers don't mow you down, the exhaust from all those cars will make it nearly impossible to breathe.

I cruised on down to Lakeland Cash Feed, a farm and feed store I dearly love for a couple of reasons. 1) They carry a great line of traps to catch various and sundry vermin that like to call my back yard home. 2) Lake Mirror Animal Hospital is located in the same building. 3)The chicken feed is cheap.

I buy 10 pounds of scratch and 5 pounds of lay crumb for my chicken who quit laying eggs after she was attacked- for the second time- by an opossum. Yet I still feed her, in hope that she will come around. I get one bag in my basket and the other in my backpack.

Holy cow. This is heavier than my dry cleaning. So maybe I exaggerated on the whole "20 pounds of dry cleaning" earlier.

As I'm leaving, I think about my non-egg-laying chicken and ask Gary, the manager, if he will have any chicks in the spring.

And here is where I learn my first odd fact of the day: Gary says no, that the City of Lakeland won't let him have chicks (or ducks either, I assume) because he's in the Historic District.

I'm shocked. After all, this is a farm and feed store. All farm and feed stores have baby chicks in the spring. And what does the fact that he's in a Historic District have to do with anything? If anyone knows the answer to this, I would love to be enlightened.