I had been informed during my initial consultation that the procedure was not painless; that the "discomfort" was "manageable," but if I preferred, I could have a prescription for a numbing topical ointment to put on prior to my treatment. They described this "discomfort" as being similar to a bee sting. Well, a bee sting doesn't feel good, but I've certainly never felt like I was going to die from one.
I'm like a guy when it comes to situations where my pain level might be called into question. I like to think that I'm tough. I've been through Army Basic Training, for crying out loud. In my mind, I'm a regular bad-ass.
I decide I don't need numbing ointment prior to my treatments. I'm going "commando."
The consultant also informs my friend, who's going through this with me, that we must shave our bikini lines the way we want them to look at the end of our laser treatment regimen.
Good Lord. I try not to look at that area very much. But the night before our appointment, I'm in the shower, doubled over, trying to keep all my lines straight. But heck, I can't tell if it's straight.
So I enlist my husband's help. I step out of the shower with legs bowed like I've been riding a horse and ask, "Honey, is this even?"
Boy, does he become concerned about this project all of the sudden. He even gets out his reading glasses.
My friend and I arrive for our first treatment. I'm told I can remove my panties, or they can just "work around them" when lasering my bikini line. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt, so there's no need to remove any clothing to reach my armpits.
The armpits are a breeze. Very little "discomfort."
When we get to my bikini line, the nurse says in such a nice voice, "If you want to continue to wear your panties during future treatments, you want to avoid wearing black (I'm wearing black). The laser is attracted to pigment, and I would hate to catch your panties on fire."
And she laughs the friendliest little laugh after saying that. Meanwhile, I'm suddenly afraid I'm about to earn Lindsey Lohan's nickname, Fire Crotch.
My treatment ends peacefully- panties intact.