American Idol Top Four Results Show Recap

Chuck: Tonight I decided "no notes." I just let the glory that is American Idol Results Show wash over me.

I need another rinse to get off the soap.

• Paula made sYESha cry by being in tune with her feelings. How saccharin.

• In his short review segment David A again proved the A doesn't stand for Articulate. Lorrie, why don't they end the farce and just let him wear a headset so dad can tell him what to say?

• Listening to the final four sing "Reelin' In the Years" it was painfully obvious David Cook was the best singer of the bunch.

• And that sYESha was second best.

• And that David A has only one dance "move."

• And Jason has none.

• Iron Man is a pretty good movie.

• We learned that a million votes separated first from second, and another million between second and third. That means David Cook had only two million more votes that sYESha. That will make next week's vote very important for David A.

• I fear his dad will rush the stage when David A is voted off.

• Jason was disinterested in performing his swan song. Even the director let it peter out.

• Bo Bice looked back in form after his illness. I'm guessing he did. I had forgotten what he sounded like. Wait, come to think of it. I have already forgotten again.

• Unfortunately, I remember the questions were stupid. No, first kiss questions for Simon. Could we have them line up whoever gave Paula her first drink, and Randy his first opportunity to say "When I worked with...." I am so sure those questions would be interesting.

• Maroon Five is still around?

• Next week they sing three songs each. sYESha will sing "Tomorrow," "Bye, Bye, Birdie" and "The Worst Pies In London." David A is going to sing "Midnight in the Oasis," "Escape (the Pina Colada Song), and "Sexual Healing." David C is going to do a bluegrass version of "Purple Haze," "Black Hole Sun" on kazoo, and an acid rock version of "Puff the Magic Dragon."

See you there.

Lorrie: Wow...no way could I break up those bullets. Great stuff! So here's my two cents tacked onto the end.

I really dislike the choreography the singers have to do on results night. I'll just say a big "ditto" to all of Chuck's related bullets above.

As cute and sweet as David Archuletta is, the whole "Golly, gee, shucks, Ma'am" routine is gettin' on my last nerve. And why is it that when I hear him speak, Kermit the Frog comes to mind?

"Hi ho...David Archuleta here..."

Even my mama, who doesn't watch American Idol, could have predicted that both the Davids would be safe.

Now, can we please talk about the Ford music videos? Let's say it all together, boys and girls:

"Cheeeezeeee."

The Ring of Fire was the worst yet. Why is this fiasco necessary each week?

During lame question time, Jason Castro finally 'fessed up to the dope use- his biggest challenge to overcome was his "brain being dead."

And now we get to guest performances...Maroon 5, it was a'ight.

Bo Bice- here's a little lesson in rock-n-roll, boys and girls. Any time you see one musician in front of two mics...fear the vocoder. Unless it's Peter Frampton in front of said mics. Then, thou shalt rejoice for the vocoder.

Twice in one season with the vocoder. First from a contestant, now from a former contestant. I ask y'all again: could this season get any stranger?!

The most un-shocking revelation of the night. Jason goes home.

Yeehaw! See ya next week!